4 Estate Planning Myths That Put Your Loved Ones at Risk

Surveys conducted in 2024 by Caring.com and Ameriprise Financial revealed a troubling trend: Americans are falling behind on estate planning. The Caring.com survey revealed that only 32% of Americans have a will - a 6% decline from 2023. The Ameriprise survey found that 52% of couples lack estate plans. These statistics show a clear gap between awareness and action. Most people understand that estate planning is important, yet many still delay it or assume it doesn’t apply to them. The result is a growing number of families who are unprepared for incapacity, unexpected illness, or death. And when there is no plan in place, the legal system — not the family — ends up making critical decisions. Understanding the most common myths is the first step toward making better decisions for yourself and the people you love. These statistics highlight a dangerous disconnect between understanding the importance of estate planning and taking action. Let's examine these misconceptions and their potentially devastating consequences.

Estate planning is often misunderstood because it is associated only with wealth, death, or legal complexity. In reality, a proper estate plan is about control, protection, and clarity during life and after death. Let’s break down the most common misconceptions that prevent people from taking action.

Myth 1: "I don't have enough assets to need an estate plan." 

This dangerously narrow thinking ignores that estate planning isn't just about financial wealth. It's about doing the right thing for the people you love so you don’t leave a mess, and about ensuring your wishes for your own care are considered if you cannot make decisions for yourself due to accident or illness.

If you haven’t created a Life & Legacy plan (the type of comprehensive planning I offer), your loved ones could face lengthy court proceedings, unnecessary taxes, and difficulty accessing financial accounts, which could have devastating consequences if bills need to be paid.

It’s also about:

• Ensuring what you DO have goes to the people you want in the way you want (and stays out of the court process);

• Your children being raised by people you choose;

• Your wishes for your medical care are honored if you become incapacitated, or if your mind deteriorates;

• Only people you trust are able to manage your finances if you can’t manage your finances yourself, and

• Leaving your loved ones with your most valuable assets - your values, insights, stories, experiences and your love.

  
  

Moreover, a Life & Legacy plan can minimize conflict among your loved ones. By clearly outlining your intentions, and ideally getting my support to share your intentions with your loved ones, you significantly reduce the chances of misunderstandings or disputes, while also increasing the chances that your resources will be used to create a better future for the people you love. 

Finally, an estate plan that works will save your loved ones time and money by ensuring the people who matter know what you have, where it is, how to find it, what to do with it when they do find it, and keeps them out of court and conflict.

In short, an estate plan is not a luxury reserved for the wealthy; it’s a necessity for anyone who has things that matter, and people who matter. If that’s you, and you don’t have an estate plan (or your plan could be outdated) let’s talk soon. 

In addition to these concerns, failing to plan often creates a ripple effect that most people don’t consider. For example, your loved ones may not only struggle with legal delays, but also emotional stress during a time of grief. Simple decisions — like accessing accounts, paying bills, or locating documents — can become overwhelming without proper guidance. Even well-meaning family members often disagree when instructions are unclear. This can lead to tension, delays, and unnecessary conflict at the worst possible time. A clear estate plan removes uncertainty and gives your loved ones a roadmap to follow when they need it most.

Myth 2: "My spouse and I trust each other completely." 

Ameriprise's survey reveals 95% of couples trust each other with finances and 91% share financial values. When couples don’t plan because they trust each other to carry out each other’s wishes, they’re overlooking several essential matters.

For instance, trust between spouses doesn't prevent legal complications or avoid court. Without a Life & Legacy plan, a surviving spouse may face lengthy probate proceedings, increased tax burdens, and difficulty accessing accounts. This strain can damage relationships and deplete assets meant for heirs. Even worse, if both spouses die simultaneously, the complications can be significant, especially if the spouses have children from prior marriages, or minor children. 

Another potential issue arises if the surviving spouse remarries. Without an estate plan, assets could unintentionally be passed to the new spouse instead of the people the deceased spouse loved. In some cases, children may even be accidentally disinherited, leaving them without the financial support their parent had planned to provide.

It is also important to understand that “trust” between spouses does not replace legal structure. Even the strongest relationships benefit from written instructions that clearly define:

• Who receives what

• Who makes decisions if one spouse becomes incapacitated

• How assets are managed and transferred

• What happens if both spouses pass away unexpectedly

  
  

Without these instructions, even a loving spouse may be forced into court involvement simply to gain access to shared assets. Planning is not about distrust — it is about reducing unnecessary legal burden.

Myth 3: "Estate planning is too expensive." 

Another common misconception is that estate planning is a luxury reserved for the wealthy because of its perceived high cost. The reality? Avoiding estate planning due to cost concerns can lead to far more significant time and money costs for the people you love down the road. Without a plan, your loved ones may face costly probate proceedings, unnecessary taxes, and legal disputes that can drain your estate and create additional stress for your loved ones during an already difficult time. These costs often far exceed the upfront investment of creating an estate plan.

Beyond the financial aspect, the peace of mind that comes with knowing your loved ones are protected is invaluable. A Life & Legacy plan ensures that your wishes are carried out, your loved ones are cared for, and potential conflicts are minimized. By addressing these matters proactively, you save the people you love from emotional and financial burdens, making Life & Legacy planning one of the wisest and most compassionate investments you can make, as well as the best gift you can give to the people you love.

Another overlooked cost is time. Probate alone can take months or even years depending on complexity. During this time, families may experience:

• Frozen bank accounts

• Delayed access to inheritance

• Ongoing legal fees

• Emotional stress and uncertainty

  
  

By contrast, a properly designed estate plan can significantly reduce or eliminate probate altogether. When viewed from this perspective, estate planning is not an expense — it is a cost-saving strategy for your family.

Myth 4: "I don’t need to worry about who would raise my kids."

Many parents of minor children assume that in the event of their death, loved ones will naturally step forward to care for their children. Unfortunately, these assumptions are often misplaced. Without a Kids Protection PlanⓇ, which I support you to create, the decision about who raises your children will be left to a judge - a complete stranger to you and your children. And when a stranger makes the decision about who will raise your kids, it might not be the person you would have wanted. In some cases, the individual granted guardianship could have values, parenting styles, or circumstances entirely incompatible with how you envisioned your children being raised.

Even if you have named legal guardians for your children in a prior created will, it’s likely not taken into consideration the 6 common mistakes I see consistently when people (and even their well-meaning lawyers) name legal guardians without the training I’ve had as a Family Lawyer around planning for the needs of families with minor kids at home. If you have a minor child, and have named legal guardians, but want me to review your plan to see if you’ve made any of the 6 common mistakes, call my office. 

Another important consideration is the financial burden imposed on your children’s chosen guardian. If you haven’t created a Life & Legacy plan, and allocated sufficient funds for your children’s care, even willing loved ones might decline guardianship, leaving the court to make an even more difficult choice.

A Life & Legacy plan alleviates the potential financial burden on your chosen guardians and ensures that your children receive the care and stability they need during an emotionally challenging time.

One of the most important aspects of planning for minor children is ensuring continuity — not just guardianship. This includes:

• Who manages money for your children

• How and when they receive assets

• Who oversees their education and healthcare decisions

• How values and routines are preserved during transition

  
  

Without these instructions, even well-chosen guardians may be left without financial or legal guidance, making their role significantly more difficult. A complete plan provides both care instructions and financial structure to support your children fully.

Take Action Now to Protect the People You Love

I've seen too many people suffer negative, yet unnecessary, consequences after a loved one dies. And if you haven't experienced it yourself, chances are you probably will. But with the proper education, beginning with correcting these dangerous myths about estate planning, I believe we can break the cycle of strife.

As a Personal Family Lawyer® firm, I start with education so you are clear on what would happen to your loved ones and your assets if you become incapacitated and when you die. Then we will work together to create a plan that aligns with your values, your goals, your loved ones, and most importantly, that works when you need it to.

We call it the Life & Legacy Planning® process, and once you've created your Life & Legacy plan, you can rest easy knowing your wishes will be honored, your loved ones cared for, and your property protected.

Estate planning is ultimately about preventing uncertainty. It ensures that your family does not have to guess what you would have wanted during some of the most difficult moments of their lives. A strong plan provides:

• Clarity instead of confusion

• Guidance instead of guesswork

• Stability instead of conflict

• Protection instead of court involvement

  
  

The goal is not just to transfer assets — it is to protect relationships and reduce suffering during transition.

Click here to schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation to learn more: This article is a service of a Carina de la Torre. we don't just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That's why we offer a Life and Legacy Planning Session, during which you will get more financially organized than you've ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Life and Legacy Planning Session.

The content is sourced from Personal Family Lawyer for use by Personal Family Lawyer firms, a source believed to be providing accurate information. This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you are seeking legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.

Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you're ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Planning Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family.